Working out what you can support without strain

Do the arithmetic properly, on paper, before you say anything. Start from what is genuinely available: savings you are willing to commit, what the household can contribute from income each year without cutting into essentials, and any borrowing you would be comfortable servicing — not the maximum a lender would approve, which is a different and much larger number.

Then stress it. What happens if there is a medical bill, a job loss, a currency move against you, or a second child needing support two years from now? The figure that survives those questions is your real number. The figure that only works if nothing goes wrong is not a budget, it is a hope.