Telling people, and the base rate

The instinct is to hide it, and hiding it is exactly what makes everybody believe rejection is rarer than it is. Almost every person you know with something you want was turned down for several things first — and you did not hear about any of those either.

Tell two or three people. Not for reassurance, but because saying it plainly ends the private inflation, and because the people who tell you they were rejected from four places before the one that worked are handing you the base rate. That is the single most useful piece of information available after a no.